Piano Owner’s 10 Commandments


By C.F. Thompson, From the “Piano Technician”

  1. Thou shalt not neglect thy piano for lo these many years and expect to have it renewed for peanuts.
  2. Say not unto thy dealer “My grandsire paid ten shekels for a piano fourscore years ago and it is better now than a new one,” lest he suffer a stroke because of thy words and his blood be on thy head.
  3. Thou shalt not place thine instrument in a cold, damp room nor yet against a steam radiator, for a piano is but wood and metal and doth suffer grievously from such abuse.
  4. Say not unto thy dealer “The price is too great.” Have not chariots and sandals also become more costly than in days of yore?
  5. Lay not that smoldering butt upon the keyboard lest it cost thee many simoleons for new keys and finish.
  6. Thou shalt not look upon the service man as a worm, nor yet exalt him, but always remember that despite his worried demeanor he is nonetheless human.
  7. Thou shalt look with dark suspicion upon him who saith, after some tinkering, “This box is not worth fixing,” and then departeth hastily. Look also with suspicion upon him who saith, “Verily, this is the finest piano mine eyes have behold,” for they both bear false witness.
  8. Respect the ear of the tuner. Say not unto him, “I took three fiddle lessons, therefore I know this note is false.” Thy tuner is a trained man and he heareth exceedingly well.
  9. Thou shalt not give heed unto him whose mouth is filled with slanderings of every competitor within three days journey. Rather shall thou say in thy soul “forsooth, it were better he spent more time learning his business and less in criticizing his neighbor.
  10. Study well the meaning of words. “Tuning” is not “Rebuilding.” And if thou sayest to the tuner, “Come at high noon on Wednesday,” do not let that hour find thee at the beauty shoppe nor yet at the bargain counter, for thy tuner is a busy man with no time to waste.